Mommy dilemmas.

Mommy (& Daddy) Dilemma #1

"Why won't she sleep?" my husband asks in the middle of the night, after enduring a bout of our baby's cries, disturbing his otherwise deep slumber.

"She wants to be carried, Honey," I tell him.

"Sway me! Sway me! Sway me! Or else I won't go to sleep," the baby cries.

Without a doubt, it's a joy being able to carry your baby, swaying him/her to sleep. But it does get tiring and it's a bit difficult to enjoy it in the middle of the night when you're awoken from dreamland.

"We should get her a rocker. It will coax her to sleep," my husband says.

"Should we?" I ask.

*     *     *     *     *

My baby ''ROCKS''!

To buy or not to buy?

Many old folks and experts are against the use of swings/rockers as it develops an undesired habit for the baby -- the mandatory need to be rocked to sleep.

Let's face it.

We're not able to attend to our baby every single time. These baby gear were designed to help cut some slack for parents:

1. Baby-wearing

As we know, babies love to feel the warmth of our bodies, reminding him/her of their time back in the womb. Being close to us makes them feel safe and comfortable.

Baby wear does just that.

There are many types of baby wear:


Mothers are great at multi-tasking and at times, we need our hands free of the baby to get some work done. This method is ideal for this purpose. You can fasten your baby/toddler securely body-to-body, and you're all set.

Baby wear these days come in soooooo many designs (and pretty expensive too!).

2. Bouncer/Swing/Rocker

Just like baby wear, bouncers/swings/rockers have evolved massively -- image and function wise.

It started with the traditional baby hammocks made out of kain batik...


...to sophisticated, manual ones that come with vibration/music:

...to electronic ones:


We bought a rocker and it has proven to be successful, but still subject to our baby's mood and level of sleepiness.

My next dilemma would be, what happens when we travel and my baby is longing to be rocked to sleep but I'm without the needed gear???

But yeah, my baby rocks! :-)

Mommy Dilemma #2

Finding out the gender of my baby during pregnancy was indeed a milestone. Of course, there was no preference to having a baby boy or girl, but once known, we were able to firm up the baby's name...and the shopping was narrowed down!

Most baby stuff come in two colours: PINK and BLUE (if not white, that is).

From cotton buds to towels to bath tubs.

With the first child on the way, I couldn't help but go all out in buying most things pink when the doctors were sure of the baby's gender. Plus with some whites on the side, just in case.

My dilemma kicked in recently.

If I've bought everything in pink, what if my next child (in shaa Allah) is a baby boy? Will I have to buy everything again, but in blue? Poor baby if he gets pink hand-me-downs.

Am I thinking too far ahead? Probably.

I tell myself, take it one step at a time. Focus on the baby you have now. I also assure myself that it's OK - she's my first baby - it's fine for the parents to go a little berserk. Experience will make us wiser.

Sigh. Mommy dilemmas!

But do you know what the ultimate and constant mommy dilemma is?

Am I doing the best for my baby?

One step at a time!

Their kids could sue the parents when they become adults.

Yes, actually sue and receive compensation. Parents also face jail time.

Wow. 

Experts say many parents do not realise the bane of exposing photos of children on social media. Private information could be released unintentionally, and if channelled to the wrong hands, kids could be put in danger. Aside from that, a gruelling possibility is having photos of children be used and abused for the wrong reasons.

Ultimately and personally, I think the decision lies in the prerogative of the parents. It's their responsibility to ensure that they're aware of who is at the receiving end of their social media ramblings and postings.

Some celebrities choose not to reveal too many photos of their kids on public platforms for fear that certain quarters like the paparazzi use the photos for their monetary benefit.

On the positive side, parents upload stills of their kids to share milestones of their children's growth and adorable antics with family and friends.

In a nutshell, we should not be paranoid BUT guidelines should be followed when uploading photos of your babies and kids. I found an article which sets out 8 types of photos of your kids you should not upload on social media. Read here: Why You Shouldn't Post These 8 Photos of Your Kids on Social Media

So Yay or Nay? As a parent, YOU decide. You know what's best!

At the risk of exposing some embarrassing moments, this entry is about the TV auditions I've gone for. Airing my dirty laundry? Nahhhh. They've all been aired on national television anyway. (Bragging much?)

Although legally trained, I've always had a passion for the world of broadcasting. Going for these auditions was a stepping stone for me to fulfill this love of mine.

Alhamdulillah, the result can be seen today -- the opportunity to read the national news.

But first, the auditions.

8TV QUICKIE
What :: An urban 15-minute nightly programme
Target Audience :: Teenagers & Young Adults

What's needed for a programme like this?

Charm
...or what we call the X-Factor.

Wit
You must be of interesting character, full of colour.

Sponteneity
Shows like this are guided by a pre-written script but with an young audience (who most often have a short attention span), viewers will go on a snooze fest if you stick to the script in verbatim. Sponteneity is needed when it comes to responding to something or cracking a joke, for instance.

Creativity
"Hello there, you're watching 8TV and today we're gonna talk about..."
*Boringggg* 
This is the conventional way of greeting your viewers. With creativity, you can make it more interesting.

Confidence
Obviously. No one wants to watch a stuttering or stammering host.

Common Knowledge
To help add value to the content brought forward.

Although a show like this only carries light topics/soft news, it's not always easy to stray away from babbling utter nonsense. A host for a show like this must know how to grab the attention of the audience, even if it's just for a menial topic.

About three years ago, I found out about the Quickie Search auditions they were having through a friend. We were required to submit a video to be shortlisted; I did just that and got a callback to come to the studio for an audition!

The audition was pretty straight to the point. At the time, I was not an active blogger and did not document my Quickie audition experience, but it was somewhere along the line of being given a simple topic to create an introduction to.

But long behold, after a quick search on Google, I found out that the series is slated to be back [still on online TV] for a second half in April!!!

*Nadia does the dance*

It's one of my favourite TV shows -- sparked by a fusion of Mindy's wit and spontaneity; humourous script; charming characters and cool storyline.

It's also apt and timely that Mindy and Danny just had a baby.

Does the guy (Danny) look familiar? He was featured in a Sam Smith music video!

I can't wait for the new episodes. Can't wait to see how big baby Leo has grown, too!

One week post-partum. First check-up with baby's paediatrician.

Imagine walking in a mall and you see a father calmly pushing a baby in a stroller while the mother walks by his side, browsing at the latest trends of clothes displayed in the glass windows of Dorothy Perkins. The baby is wide-eyed but relatively quiet and in a jovial mood.

The baby is wearing an exceptionally adorable onesie with printed polka dots all over, melting the hearts of anyone whose eyes fall on her. She has a headband with a flower and matching socks.

This paints the perfect family picture, luring other couples to join the club and also bear children.

Indeed, that was the impression I had before getting married and giving birth to a child. The above depiction is just one of the scenes portrayed by parenthood -- apart from the hundreds of others. It's not always how the people on the outside see it to be.

Don't get me wrong, motherhood is absolutely rewarding and beats any form of exhaustion. But there's more to than just happily pushing a baby in a stroller at the mall. I'm not saying it ain't a perfect family picture, but a lot of hard work, patience and perseverance is needed to get through in taking care of another human being.

Behind that family 'portrait', there are endless cries of the baby, sleepless nights, constant diaper-changing and...that constant worry whether your baby is alright.

Not to mention the worry of whether you're doing everything you can to be the best parent.

For the mother and father, their lives have changed drastically from being single, to just a couple, to being parents. It's not a game anymore; priorities have changed. No more spontaneous outings with the girls, no more lepaking til the wee hours of the morning with the boys and embarking on holidays will never be the same. No more activities at the parents' whims and fancies like how it used to be.

It's also important to be physically and mentally prepared to take care of a child.

Don't be fooled for behind every happy picture, there is a combination of sweat, tears and inevitably splashes of joy. Nothing good comes easy. ;-)

All in all, we are thankful for this gift from God.

After nine months of carrying a baby in your uterus - which had multiplied in terms of size so many more times than its original state - and after giving birth...it's now time to REST, RECOVER and REGAIN ENERGY!

That's what the pantang period or confinement period is all about. We should not overlook the importance of the pantang period by perceiving it as full of untrustworthy tales of dos and don'ts made up by the traditional midwife or tukang urut. They were thought up for a reason - maybe not all - but there is some logic to it.

Like I've mentioned in an earlier entry, don't deny your right to heal internally and externally. :-)

I have to admit that I found out about Natalis Beauty after stumbling upon Liyana Jasmay's Instagram account. This local celeb had also recently given birth and engaged with Natalis Beauty for confinement care. This, after my originally scheduled confinement lady could not make it in time due to unforeseen circumstances.

Boy, am I soooo grateful I found out about Natalis Beauty!

I contacted the person-in-charge, Pn. Suzie and Alhamdulillah she was able to slot me in even on short notice and in her company's already hectic schedule. They have various confinement care packages, whether they are half day or full day sessions, or have the confinement lady (CL) stay in with you for your chosen length of time. They can cook for you, too. They even do ad-hoc berurut sessions upon booking for those not in pantang.

With Pn. Suzie of Natalis Beauty

I took the half day package; the price for one session in this package is within the acceptable market range. Transportation fee is also included.

I never knew confinement care was like having the spa being brought to your home.

Before I go on to tell you about my CL's daily routine, I must really hand it to her for making the sessions wonderful and stress-free. She was friendly, hardworking, well-trained, resourceful and made me feel comfortable - apart from being totally hands-on with the baby. Not to mention also, one of the best tukang urut's I've had.

This was her daily routine (with the help of an assistant):

For the Baby

1. Bathing
For someone who had never bathed a newborn before, this was really helpful. My baby loved the water! Thanks to a skilful CL, there was never even a squeak from my baby.

2. Bertungku
The CL will apply small dabs of ointment (minyak urut) on the baby's body before bertungku. A super mini tungku is used and it's so cute!

For those who are not familiar with bertungku, it's basically all these herbs compressed tightly and wrapped into a ball-like shape. You can consider it as your traditional heating pad. The tungku is heated up real hot (using a stove usually) before its usage. Tungku's for babies are heated lightly using an iron.

How a tungku looks like

The tungku is then pressed against various parts of your body to provide relief. For us women in the post-partum pantang period, this practice can be quite vigorous for the abdominal area. This is to get your womb back into its original place. Make sure this is conducted by only those who are 'certified' and competent enough!

For the Mother

1. Sauna - The CL will bring her portable sauna to your home. You will sit in it with only your head popping out, to sweat out the toxins in your body.

That's not me (taken from Google) but my CL did bring in a PINK portable sauna!

2. Tangas - This is an external treatment where you will be asked to stand above some pre-heated stones placed in a small pot. While crotching a little, the CL will pour a special herbal mixture onto the 'hot' stones which will then emit steam (apart from the sounds of something being fried), providing relief to your uterine muscles.

3. Herbal Bath 

4. Traditional Massage Therapy (berurut) - Provides absolute relief to the body. Even if it did get vigorous, it was pretty relaxing in which the outcome was a pain-free and re-energised body!

5. Body Scrub (lulur) - There will be days the CL will opt to apply body scrub on you instead of the massage therapy. It will leave your skin cleansed and baby-smooth, no kidding. I loved it so much I bought several bottles from Pn. Suzie for future self-use.

6. Bertungku - (As described above)

7. Application of homemade herbal paste:

Param - applied on the body;
Pilis - applied on the forehead (a classic pantang trademark!); and
Tapel - applied on the stomach.

The function of the tapel is to get your stomach into its original look and color. (The area tends to get blackish after being stretched during pregnancy - it works!) People say the application of this paste will make your body itch, but I did not experience any of that with the paste concocted by Natalis Beauty.

8. Wearing of the bengkung (traditional waistband) - To help you get back in shape, especially in the abdominal area. To me, it works better than the modern strap-on waistband.

9. Jamu - Confinement's version of a healthy juice to boost energy and help recover. Not my cup of tea, but they say it's good for you!

The jamu comes at an extra one-off charge, as well as the bengkung (unless you have your own). All other items are provided for and included in the main package.

To wrap up confinement care, you can opt for an add-on -- mandi bunga and totok (facial massage). This is probably leaning more towards being a beauty regiment rather than a healing treatment. But it was fun!

Natalis Beauty is definitely in my recommendation list for confinement care. I'm so tempted to book a berurut session now.......

If you're looking for confinement care or knows someone who is, here are the details:

Photo by The Photolicious

It's been a little over a month since I gave birth. The past month has brought about many changes in my baby. It's been a wonderful journey witnessing those changes, thus far...

💗 Demand for Milk & Breastfeeding

My baby wasn't as demanding for milk immediately after birth, while still in the hospital. But she was fed on-demand as opposed to the every-four-hour rule. (Baby's preference, can't change that!)

However, coming home after several days in the hospital, her demand for milk increased and yes, it was tiring as I was exclusively breastfeeding my little one. But as I've reiterated time and time again when people ask, exhaustion and sleep deprivation are two of the most prominent features of becoming parents (to a baby especially). It's a universal experience; everyone feels the same thing, and it's absolutely normal. It's comforting to know that. That's why I think these things should be talked about and shared.

Shopping for the baby before giving birth could be a vague adventure for rookie to-be-parents as you're buying items with uncertainty. Many questions will pop up.

Do I need this? Will my baby like it? Will it be convenient for me?

Photo Courtesy of ShutterStock

When you've actually had the baby, the real game starts. This is when you figure out whether you've bought the right type of items and acquire the ability to distinguish between the essentials and what you can do without.

Based on my minimal experience so far, these are THE MUST HAVES or the essentials while caring for a newborn:
**List is non-exhaustive and excludes heavy-duty baby gear like the stroller, playpen, etc.

🚼 Sterilizer 

You will need to sterilise just about everything that affects what goes into your baby's mouth. The two main items that I've been sterilizing:

(i) Breast pump
(ii) Bottles

🚼 Breast Pump

Apart from breastfeeding, there will be times when you need to express milk. This, especially if you plan to go back to work when [the awesome] maternity leave ends so you can stock up milk to make up for the missed breastfeeding sessions.

Word has it that the two best brands in the market are Medela and Malish. Apparently, not all pumps work for everyone. There are places where you can try various pumps to find a compatible one. However, this will see the need to get out of the house during confinement which personally is not very ideal. For those who do not know -- you can't test out breast pumps during pregnancy (even if you've started lactating) as this could trigger contractions, so you have to wait until you've given birth.

Oh, and don't forget to buy milk storage bags!

🚼 Bottle Warmer

Whether you're feeding the baby with expressed milk or formula milk, you will essentially need a bottle warmer. This usually comes together with the sterilizer.

🚼 Nursing Bras

Very, very convenient. When you're out, you would still want to breastfeed your baby. Many places now provide rooms for this. And for places that are less private, a nursing cover will come in handy.

🚼 Bra Pads

Sometimes, milk literally spills out even when you're not breastfeeding.

🚼 Diapers

You will not know which is the most suitable diaper brand for the little until you have the chance to be fully hands-on with the baby. Based on several personal experiences of mothers that I've heard of, the two top brands are Pampers and Mamy Poko. They're slightly pricier than other brands, but for a reason I suppose.

I went out on a limb for this one. I had bought Huggies before my baby came along, not knowing whether she'll like it. After about a week of using Huggies, I did notice some rashes but it was nothing too serious. Eventually, I decided to change to Mamy Poko and it's been working well so far.

Although designed for newborns, bear in mind that different diaper brands come in different sizes.

(L) Mamy Poko :: (R) Huggies

🚼 Cotton Balls/Patches

This is to be used with water to clean your baby's bum during a diaper-change, rather than using wet wipes which could cause or aggravate rashes. Wet wipes are ideal when you're out of the house.

🚼 Pillows and Mattresses

Depending on where you plan to have the baby sleep, get those head pillows, bolsters and mattresses! You never know where else you might have the baby sleep at ---- or where the baby prefers to sleep, actually!

🚼 Newborn Attire 

You may think that you could keep the number of newborn clothes/onesies to a minimal, as the baby will outgrow them in no time.

True.

But...there will be many occasions where the baby's clothes will be dampened with a little milk spill or from a diaper mishap. You may have to get your baby changed into a new set of clothes a little more often than you would expect. There's no need to go overboard, but it's good to have a little extra. Washing baby clothes is another story, as they are more delicate (get the right detergent, too).

A little tip when buying newborn attire -- it may be a bit tricky slipping on those onesies or rompers, especially when the baby is crying and throwing a tantrum. I recommend getting onesies/rompers from H&M which have buttons on the front, making it so much easier for us to get the baby into. When it comes to baby tops, I prefer those with buttons rather than strings.

The same goes for receiving blankets to swaddle your newborn in. A little extra won't hurt.

When buying hats, I prefer a knitted hat that sort of is like a snow cap (see pic below) rather than a cotton hat. It stays better on my baby's head. Mittens and booties are essential, too!

(L) Crochet-type hat that hospitals use :: (R) Cotton hat

🚼 Bottles

Selecting the right bottle may not be easy. Different brands have different teats for the baby to latch on to, and this will inevitably determine whether it's a go or no-go for the little one. A harder teat may be less appealing, as what I've learnt with my baby when she tried to drink from a Pigeon bottle. I switched to using a Little Bean bottle, which came with the sterilizer I bought and voila, she latches on just well. The quest for the right bottle brand shall continue soon though!

🚼 Diaper-changing Mat

Whether you're changing your baby's diaper, swaddling the little one up or applying lotion/powder on his/her body, this mat will come in very handy!

As this list is non-exhaustive, I may revisit this entry to make some add-ons.

Til then, Happy Shopping!

For my husband, our stay felt like a vacation at PCMC. For me, yes it did as well, minus the contractions and the aftermath of giving birth: sheer exhaustion. That's why people say you need all the energy before going into labour.

My view for the 3 nights I was in the hospital

At PCMC, the baby is hardly in the nursery except for the routine morning care/jabs/check-ups/etc. The baby is basically in the room with you throughout your stay in the hospital.

Here's a quick run-through on what to expect next:

1. Breastfeeding

As soon as you're wheeled into your room from the labour room, the nurse will ask you to breastfeed the baby. They will guide you on how to hold the baby and how to breastfeed correctly. Breastfeeding shouldn't hurt or anything, it should be a wonderful experience.

I had hardly handled any newborns before being pregnant myself, but I guess when it comes to your own child, it comes naturally. I was more confident than I thought I would be.

Body milk supply will be low early on (for the first week or so), which is very normal. It's not even milk perse, but what is called colostrum. Once supply turns into actual milk, the baby's stool should be changing in color from green-ish to yellow/golden.

Hubby helping with feeding time at 4am. Hehehe.

2. Post-birth Bleeding

It will be similar to a heavy flow period at first. It will subside within the first month after giving birth. After all, Aunty P did not stop by for 9 months!  

3. Diaper-Changing

Next, you will learn to change your baby's diapers. I was being kinda spoilt because I called the nurse in for that each time. I was very exhausted, I decided to let myself off the hook for the first few days in the hospital.

4. Crying

Your nights will never be the same again.

The nurse will tell you to feed the baby every 4 hours. But some babies ignore this rule, and want to be breastfed on demand which literally means any time.

Since having the baby, I have deleted all my alarms in my mobile as I can now count on the baby for that. Hehehehehe. Sleep deprivation and being zombified are synonym to becoming parents. Now I really understand how it feels!

5. Monitoring

Nurses will be monitoring you round the clock, checking your blood pressure and temperature level.

6. Doctor's Rounds

The gynae will conduct his/her daily check-up on you in your room to ask on your condition as well as the newly-allocated paediatrician to check on the baby. It is also during the first 2 weeks that the baby is monitored for jaundice.

7. Brief session with the physiotherapist

The physiotherapist will teach you how to do simple pelvic exercises (kegel exercises), to be done during the 6 weeks before the first post-natal follow-up with the gynae. This is to prevent what is called, a uterine prolapse.

8. F&B

The food is not all that bad either but there are certain things on the menu your confinement lady will not agree to.

Two different types of medication will be given to be consumed after meals. One, a painkiller for any post-labour pain and two, a liquid medication to soften stool.

Pancakes for breakfast

Steamed fish with rice for lunch

9. First check-up with the paediatrician

About a week after delivery, the baby's first check-up with the paediatrician will be scheduled. This will be a quick consultation session, before the next check-up in 6 weeks time.

Quick tip (for those delivering at private hospitals): I've heard that if you open a pregnancy book (buku merah) at a government clinic (klinik kesihatan's and the likes), there will be a designated nurse who will come by your house after your due date, regardless whether you went for follow-ups or not. This will be very helpful as the nurse can assist with handling and caring for the baby, as well as checking the little one for jaundice.

Probably the one and only time I am able to get out during confinement period!

10. Confinement

For Malays, the 44-day house arrest begins. Okay, not house arrest but a duration with many, many restrictions. Having not gone through this before, confinement was a whole new realm for me.

It's all in the name of healing, so don't deny yourself that right. :-)

(i) Restricted dietary plan - Food intake must be monitored and restricted to certain foods, to help with the recovery process, mostly internally.

(ii) Physical movement must be reduced - This is very important as too much abrupt movement or heavy lifting could cause bleeding which will see your re-admission to the hospital.

(iii) In-house confinement care - Depending on your preference, you can choose to be in the care of a confinement lady for any length of time or even acquire for one to stay in with you.

She will literally bring the spa to your doorstep; I absolutely love it. Here's her typical routine:

For the baby
1. Bathing
2. Bertungku and light application of ointment (minyak urut) - A super mini and super cute tungku is used. One of the functions of this practice is to prevent baby flatulence.

For the mother
1. Sauna - To sweat out the toxins in your body.
2. Tangas
3. Herbal Bath
4. Massage Therapy (berurut) - Provides absolute relief to the body / Body Scrub (lulur) - Leaves your skin baby-smooth!
5. Bertungku - To 'position' your uterus back into place.
6. Application of a homemade herbal paste called param, pilis and tapel on the body, forehead and stomach respectively. The function of the tapel is to get your stomach into its original look and color. (The area tends to get blackish after being stretched during pregnancy.)
7. Wearing of the bengkung (traditional waistband) - To help you get back in shape, especially in the abdominal area.
8. Jamu - Confinement's version of a healthy juice to boost energy and help recover. Not my cup of tea, but they say it's good for you!

After each session, you just wanna sing and I paraphrase, "What a feeling!!!".

As I'm writing this, it's been a little over a week since the delivery of my baby girl. While it's still fresh in my memory, I thought I should get this penned down now...

...at least the crux of what I remember on what went down.

But let's rewind a little.

❤️ Prenatal Check-ups 

I had chosen to be with Dr. Seri Suniza, a very reputable gynae at Prince Court Medical Centre (PCMC) who's highly sought after. It took a while for me to see her for the first appointment after making a booking, but the wait was worth it. She is simply amazing. She's a super friendly doctor who not only acts as your gynae but makes it a point to get to know you and your spouse. Apart from having the needed medical skills and knowledge, Dr. Seri puts your mind in a positive place, is always reassuring and gets you pumped up for THE day. She will quickly fend off any baseless notions of pregnancy and childbirth out there to be replaced with legitimate medical advice. I looked forward to each consultation with her and Alhamdulillah, my pregnancy was smooth sailing and uneventful.

❤️ Prenatal Class 

PCMC conducts prenatal classes for couples once every two months. Being first-time parents, I insisted that hubby and I attend. Running from morning til afternoon, the itinerary involved talks on topics like diet, labour, pain management and baby care. The talks were brief (about an hour each), but served as a good eye-opener, especially for those in it for the first time.

Learning the proper exercises for pregnant women and breathing techniques for labour

❤️ Labour Prep Session  

Nearing your due date, you may also have a private session for labour prep. Again, being first-time parents, this was a must! We were introduced to Neng, a physiotherapist at PCMC's Physical and Rehabilitation Medicine Department.

The session, which lasted for two hours, started in the labour room -- an unoccupied one of course. I was at my 38th week when we had the session, a stage where I could have already gone into labour! Hubby and I had already seen one of the labour rooms, upon request during our last check-up. You know, to get the 'feel'. The labour room looks just like any other room in the maternity ward, with a television, bathroom, sofa bed, etc. but added with the necessary medical equipment for labour and for the baby.

Neng explained what labour is and touched a little on hypnobirthing which involves the psychological 'warfare' of the mother. I've termed it 'warfare' because, if you look it up, it means the employment of a weapon to influence the mind of the enemy.

Got some cool jargons there.

In this context, the enemy is the fear of going into labour and the weapon is the mother's state of mind. The state of mind can affect the outcome of labour and childbirth. Personally, I really do think hypnobirthing can help ease and in some way reduce labour pain. Pain is inevitable, but there's a way to handle it.

Not the labour room, but where the session continued at.

She told us what the labour process would entail and the different types of pain relief available. With all the ongoing debate about the pros and cons of the epidural, Neng emphasised that instead of pre-opting to avoid it at all costs because of its presumed side effects, the mother should first take into account the welfare of the baby. Yes, mothers who do not take epidural are given the salute, but if the administration of epidural would help the mother bring the baby safely into this world, what more is there to consider?

My birth plan consisted of my openness of taking the epidural, if necessary. I could not say for sure at the time, since I had no clue as to how labour pain would feel like.

She also taught us pre-labour exercises and the correct breathing techniques for labour. Hubby was tested for this, because he would have to help me apply the correct breathing technique during the different stages of labour.

The session was absolutely helpful, giving the hubby and I a clearer picture of what was to happen. Thank you, Neng!

❤️ The Night of 17 February

I experienced one of the signs of labour - slight bleeding. It was like the start of Aunty P's monthly cycle.

It's not a definitive sign of labour as compared to having your water break or having regular, consistent contractions. I was already feeling contractions prior, but in an irregular pattern, which is normal hence no need for alarm. While water breaking indicates that labour is imminent within a certain amount of hours, bleeding or having bloody show indicate that the cervix is preparing itself for the birth of the baby but labour does not necessarily happen immediately after that. It could take days even.

I remember our physiotherapist telling us that if my water breaks, there is no need to rush but it was definitely time to make a trip to the hospital. Once it breaks, going back to sleep is a no-no, at least until you are in the care of the hospital.

As it was during the night, I had already showered and was ready to go. Took my time to do some last-minute things (even though I was so nervous), in the event that I had to be admitted that night. At this time, I was not feeling a regular pattern of contractions but the surges were getting stronger.

Bleeding at 39 weeks, I became a 'fast lane' or priority patient upon arriving at the Emergency Department. I was wheeled into the labour room not long after for the nurses to strap me to the CTG machine. The machine monitors the baby's heartbeat as well as the mother's pattern and level of contractions. Each time I experienced a contraction, the numbers went up.

So how does contractions feel like?

That was a big question mark throughout my pregnancy, until I felt it myself. People have described it as amplified period cramps, which is true. I would also illustrate it as heightened diarrhea but coupled with a strong compression of the muscles in the stomach area. For me, my stomach literally lifted itself up during a strong contraction, or at least it seemed that way. If you're reading this, don't be terrified! It's nothing you can't bear. Your body was designed for this. It's a natural process.

*Cue hynobirthing thoughts!*

Upon checking the readings of the CTG machine, the nurse could see that the baby's heartbeat was fine and that my contractions were regular! So next, she had to conduct a vaginal examination (VE) or internal pelvic exam to check whether there's any dilation.

"Okay, takde laluan lagi," the nurse said.
"Boleh balik rumah, tapi kalau ada sakit-sakit lagi, datang je terus ke hospital."

There was no dilation yet which meant I was not in labour! Back home we went.

❤️ That Night Still...

We reached home at about 1:00am.

My contractions became stronger and more regular. I thought it would only last through the night and subside in the morning as how it did at times before.

But it kept going.
I could not sleep through the whole night.

❤️ The Next Day

❤️ It's Showtime! 

One of the popular occasions during pregnancy (whilst nearing the due date) is to hold a baby shower. It's not a must-do but it sure is fun when you have a strong driving force in party planning. ;-)

I had mine last month. It was nothing too elaborate but more of a 'food fest' for friends, courtesy of the husband too.

Although just an eating spree, party decorations was in order! Most of the materials were bought from Spotlight (an AMAZING and ALLURING household store) and of course, Balloon Buzz. Others were bought from a souvenir shop in the vicinity of my place of stay.

:: Finding a Suitable Venue ::

This would of course, depend on your budget and number of guests. Mine was an intimate do and a cafe called Toran Coffee in Shah Alam (IG @torancoffee) was selected because of its exquisite food!

Toran Coffee, Seksyen 13 Shah Alam

:: Coming Up with a Theme ::

Like planning for any other event, the theme must be identified before going berserk over party shopping. For this baby shower, the theme was pink and princess.

Materials purchased:

Disposable plastic tablecover from Balloon Buzz

Helium-packed balloons from Balloon Buzz. Five were adequate, placed in the corner.

Jazzy tableware for eating desserts

Reusable cardboard cake stand from Spotlight (RM20.00)

Cheap party bags from the local souvenir shop (RM0.60/piece)

Clear plastic gift packs to be filled with an edible treat, so that guests don't leave empty-handed!

An illustration done on the night before, to get a preview of how the table setting will look like. Printed napkin and DIY coaster made from felt material bought from Spotlight. Table mat is made from wrapping paper. Notice how NOT EVERYTHING is just glaring pink or printed polka dots? Get the right combination of designs to achieve a pleasant look.

The best-tasting salmon by far (seriously), coupled with awesome gravy from Toran Coffee

Cringe cringe cringe! They are so adorably made! (Red velvet flavour inside)

So we've got a bottle of milk, a teddy bear, a crying baby, a happy baby...

They also make sugar cookies according to your theme! They look too precious to get a bite out of them!

Cupcake and sugar cookies for everyone!

Impressive work from Jem Cakes and Cookies

How the cupcakes look on the cake stand. Prettyyyy!!

Devilish chocolate is the flavour inside. Tastes sinful as it sounds! Hehe.

A close-up look

Yes, a Princess is on her way...!

Just love the bassinet stroller as the 'icing' on top! Meticulously made.

Fruits in cones! However, even though we used these McD-like ice cream cones which are round based, stability was still an issue. I recommend getting some sort of stand that could give better support to these fruity treats.